I found this funny website, which generates a suicide note for you. Eventually, I will get around to writing more about individual suicide notes, but for now I offer this one:
March 18, 2009
Dear Ungrateful World;
Although everyone on Earth has failed to give me even half the accolades and adulation that should go with me, Tracy, being the 3rd coming of christ, I will still fulfill my destiny. You're welcome.
For you insolent pukes, I will shed my blood to once again open the gates of heaven. Because of me, you heathen beasts won't have to endure any locust, floods, toads or ATF non-incendiary devices. Ingrate pricks.
So, start erecting statues, knocking out opponents, singing songs, scoring touchdowns, hitting home runs, hiding colored eggs every year around the 18th of March, and doing other shit for my glory because you fuckers owe me big.
Jesus Christ III
a.k.a. Tracy
P.S. You fucking cremate me and I'm going poltergeist on your ass.
Feel free to generate your own suicide note & post the link to it in the comments.
http://www.porkjerky.com/free/suicide.php
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